fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
