He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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