Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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