I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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