She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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