Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize