We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
