she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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