i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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