sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Shame is for Republicans.
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