stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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