yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
