she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
