It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
