didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
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He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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