Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
