all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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