..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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