I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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