so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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