is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize