Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
