At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think I sprained my soul last night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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