I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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