Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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