Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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