you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
