i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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