it was like his penis was on wheels.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize