So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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