Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Your tits are I can't wait for
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
