Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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