i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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