i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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