I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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