You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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