Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize