I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
