You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
