I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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