She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
