What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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