4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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