He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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