You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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