Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
