I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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