I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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