$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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