i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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