You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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