So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
