Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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