I accidentally had phone sex last night
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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