bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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