Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
