i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
