You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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